never-ending tale!
[i started this story with d ryt determination to give it a fine ending..but as usual, got stuck midway! wtv, still posting it..maybe u guys can carry this story from here on! ;) ]
It was almost 45minutes past midnight; Santosh was sitting still with his music player playing his favorite song sequence over and over! His mom enquired, ‘anything wrong? not feeling like sleeping?’
“Doing assignments.” He lied.
He went to the washroom. Observing his reflection in the mirror, he stood there a little longer than usual.
Is there anything that is bothering him? The mirror seems as lifeless as one can expect it to be, without an answer. It’s always so wrong to expect magic and miracle, things that are good and true, things that do not lie under some false cover of diplomacy and professionalism, things that are not crudely formal and entirely close and cozy just like you expect. Santosh understands all of these so very well but why he can’t implement these in his very own life? He feels restless. Is he a poor learner or is it his irritatingly optimistic zodiac sign?! He feels his mind crowded with all sort of obscure, disturbing questions!
He swears under his breath, determined to shove aside all kind of screwed up thoughts and have a good sleep to feel better.
Almost 90minutes now. Santosh can’t sleep. He changes sides…tucks his head deep inside the pillow, beats it up, stares at the ceiling for long. There lies a packet of cigarette on his bedside table.
On his way home from college, he bought it after a lot of self-arguments. He was decided and determined to puff off the whole packet tonight. He is at a terrible loss of sleep for the past few days and he has decided to try every possible way to get back to his normal self, how abnormal the way might be. Nothing seems to go right for him. Strangest part he suddenly seems much unknown to himself. He wants something. He needs something. He craves for something. But question mark over this ‘something’ never ceases to linger! Sometimes he gets bored with this ‘?’.
But even this pack doesn’t seem an option right now. What is wrong with him?!
Today morning he went to see Hemant, his ‘chuddy-friend’. Hemant has always been a tremendous support for him. He wanted to talk to him. Rather he felt he needed to have a good chat. Hemant welcomed him as warm as always. With every smile and sentence, Santosh felt the urge to discuss the way he is feeling these days. No peace. No interest. But he couldn’t. He just couldn’t.
He wondered this has never happened before! He always felt so ease and comfort in sharing any kind of feeling he got, how silly and how useless it might be. So what happened suddenly…what is so serious that he can’t even share with Hemant! Or is it nothing…hence he doesn’t know what to say! Yeah…possibly so! But he felt such an irresistible need to talk but he can’t. Not with his mom, nor Hemant, nor his other friends!
He wonders if anyone knows how it is like when you want to talk and u cant! You don’t know what to say exactly! You fear no one would possibly understand you, no one would be able to comprehend what he himself can’t! Is he losing himself? Is he losing his mind? Has he become one of those depressing types?! Everything is in order then why can’t he be at peace?!
[i started this story with d ryt determination to give it a fine ending..but as usual, got stuck midway! wtv, still posting it..maybe u guys can carry this story from here on! ;) ]
It was almost 45minutes past midnight; Santosh was sitting still with his music player playing his favorite song sequence over and over! His mom enquired, ‘anything wrong? not feeling like sleeping?’
“Doing assignments.” He lied.
He went to the washroom. Observing his reflection in the mirror, he stood there a little longer than usual.
Is there anything that is bothering him? The mirror seems as lifeless as one can expect it to be, without an answer. It’s always so wrong to expect magic and miracle, things that are good and true, things that do not lie under some false cover of diplomacy and professionalism, things that are not crudely formal and entirely close and cozy just like you expect. Santosh understands all of these so very well but why he can’t implement these in his very own life? He feels restless. Is he a poor learner or is it his irritatingly optimistic zodiac sign?! He feels his mind crowded with all sort of obscure, disturbing questions!
He swears under his breath, determined to shove aside all kind of screwed up thoughts and have a good sleep to feel better.
Almost 90minutes now. Santosh can’t sleep. He changes sides…tucks his head deep inside the pillow, beats it up, stares at the ceiling for long. There lies a packet of cigarette on his bedside table.
On his way home from college, he bought it after a lot of self-arguments. He was decided and determined to puff off the whole packet tonight. He is at a terrible loss of sleep for the past few days and he has decided to try every possible way to get back to his normal self, how abnormal the way might be. Nothing seems to go right for him. Strangest part he suddenly seems much unknown to himself. He wants something. He needs something. He craves for something. But question mark over this ‘something’ never ceases to linger! Sometimes he gets bored with this ‘?’.
But even this pack doesn’t seem an option right now. What is wrong with him?!
Today morning he went to see Hemant, his ‘chuddy-friend’. Hemant has always been a tremendous support for him. He wanted to talk to him. Rather he felt he needed to have a good chat. Hemant welcomed him as warm as always. With every smile and sentence, Santosh felt the urge to discuss the way he is feeling these days. No peace. No interest. But he couldn’t. He just couldn’t.
He wondered this has never happened before! He always felt so ease and comfort in sharing any kind of feeling he got, how silly and how useless it might be. So what happened suddenly…what is so serious that he can’t even share with Hemant! Or is it nothing…hence he doesn’t know what to say! Yeah…possibly so! But he felt such an irresistible need to talk but he can’t. Not with his mom, nor Hemant, nor his other friends!
[and den i got stuck! :P]
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