The orkut home page seems like burning my eyes. Logged out in a rage, with a toxic feeling inside. No particular reason.
It is late enough. Right now, I should turn off the computer and go to sleep. But something is bothering me. I don’t know what.
Sometimes I wonder how life would have been if I hadn’t joined orkut.
Well, I wonder about many a thing.
Sometimes I get angry. Angry on myself. Sometimes I simply sulk. I hate to be with anyone. Sometimes I hate myself. Sometimes I pass on to this metastable state. I can see everything. I can hear everything. Yet, nothing comes to my realization. I feel non-existent. I feel collapsed. Or is that an even more fierce feeling?!
Sometimes something unpleasant happens. I don’t blame my fate. I neither put the blame on the situation. I hate excuses. I don’t blame anyone. I make mistakes. I prefer taking it on myself. I hate to brood. But sometimes things become suffocating.
Then sometimes I chance upon people like Yashpal Kaur (if I remember correctly…saw her performing in a TV show), a blind women fighting her life with martial arts and dancing and I feel so small, so silly, so inspired.
I do not know what point exactly I am trying to make by this crappy post…i.e even if I am trying to make any point…..but yes..my 22nd post….that can make a point maybe !!
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